david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
