her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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