I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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