we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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