You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
