yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
They took my balls.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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