Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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