just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
