it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
