somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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