we have pet lesbian snakes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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