I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
