i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
