I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So much rum. So many feels.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
