chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
