Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
