i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
