so explain again why im purple
no
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
