swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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