She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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