Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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