hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
