there's paper in my vomit.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
