I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm always down for nudity.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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