sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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