I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
