alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i out mim tonsoeep
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