the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
