after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
