Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it was like eating out sand paper
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We need to feng shui this bitch.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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