porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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