What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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