Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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