Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
