Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
