Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
