I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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