I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
