This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
