I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
