5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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