Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
