there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
