You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
