I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He told me they were just razor bumps!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So here I am, sexting at work.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
