K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
