I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
