i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I would fuck him just for his dog
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
