so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
