help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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