Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
